Forgiveness Can Change Your Life

Do you really want to hang on to hate and anger? Here's how to let go and be at peace.

By Sandy Andrew

Have you ever experienced an event in your life that you can’t seem to forget? It agitates you and angers you when you recall and dwell on the memory. Perhaps someone did one of the following to you--stole from you, misled or cheated you, even abused or lied to you. And you want to get back at them—period! You can’t seem to get it out of your mind.

If anger and hate are rising within you whenever you think of what was done to you--stop and ask yourself: Do I really want to forget the event? Or is it possible that I enjoy my thoughts of anger, hate, and revenge?

The Choice of Revenge or Forgiveness
Fear, anger, hate, and revenge are the most destructive forms of energy that a person can experience. These emotions can dominate your thinking and can lead you to commit negative acts. And if you commit a negative act, you in turn will become part of that negative cycle. What goes around comes around, no matter who you are. We see this time and time again in the news. By giving in to your fear, anger, and hate, you ultimately will be no different from those who wronged you in the first place.

By allowing yourself to forgive the person, you may find yourself in a more peaceful and content state of mind. When you let go of the need for revenge, which is fed by your hate and anger, you will naturally start focusing on the things in life that truly matter to you and bring you a sense of fulfillment.

In every instance, you have a choice of responses:

negative or positive
destructive or non-destructive
irrational or logical
vengeful or forgiving
There may be times in your life when you have to defend yourself, your family, or even your country. But apart from these exceptional situations (and even then), the choice is yours. Your life can be positively radiant and fulfilling, or it can become depressingly negative and hateful.

How to Forgive
Most of us have trouble with the concept of letting go of anger toward someone who has wronged us. The problem is that we can become so entrenched in our own viewpoint, we simply can’t picture thinking or behaving differently.

Here are ten ways to help you move towards contentment and forgiveness in your life and move away from toxic emotions. Go to a quiet place, preferably in your home, then relax for about 5-10 minutes and go through the following steps in your mind.

1. Calm your emotions through deep breathing.
2. Analyze the event from a logical, objective perspective.
3. Seek the truth and the facts.
4. Acknowledge the facts of what happened.
5. Know that you were mistreated.
6. Acknowledge that you were right.
7. Let the memory fade into history.
8. Let go of the anger and hateful energy that surrounds you.
9. Focus your thoughts on those who care about you in life.
10. Focus your thoughts on the things in life that you like.

By performing these simple steps on a daily basis, you should gradually notice that you feel more content and at peace with yourself. By focusing on those who love you and the things in life that you like, you will attract positive energy into your life…and that’s a good thing.